I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.