I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted, and the trouble is I don't...

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted, and the trouble is I don't...

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay gets another person who can't...

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay gets another person who can't...