You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Dean Martin

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all...

Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all...

An extra-terrestrial philosopher, who had watched a single youth up to the age of twenty-one...

An extra-terrestrial philosopher, who had watched a single youth up to the age of twenty-one...

All things must change To something new, to something strange.

All things must change To something new, to something strange.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Television has raised writing to a new low.

That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.

That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

In the age in which we live, the impossible is every day losing ground.

In the age in which we live, the impossible is every day losing ground.

In the world a man lives in his own age; in solitude in all ages.

In the world a man lives in his own age; in solitude in all ages.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.