You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Dean Martin

Topics: Beer Quotes, Funny Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then...

I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then...

It is from the progeny of this parent cell that we all take our looks;...

It is from the progeny of this parent cell that we all take our looks;...

By the year 2000 we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human...

By the year 2000 we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human...

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first...

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first...

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but...

When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but...

If you and your children fare well, and your affairs be to your contentment, I...

If you and your children fare well, and your affairs be to your contentment, I...

If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself...

If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself...

Children and fools cannot lie.

Children and fools cannot lie.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...