You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Dean Martin

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city,...

She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city,...

If I dressed myself in fire, and built my house of snow, and made iron...

If I dressed myself in fire, and built my house of snow, and made iron...

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

For I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping.

For I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping.

Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough;...

Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough;...

Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruit of the...

Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruit of the...

And the people chode with Moses, and spake, saying, Would God that we had died...

And the people chode with Moses, and spake, saying, Would God that we had died...

Pure Spirit, one hundred degrees proof - that's a drink that only the most hardened...

Pure Spirit, one hundred degrees proof - that's a drink that only the most hardened...

And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of...

And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of...

They give drink to every beast of the field: the wild asses quench their thirst.

They give drink to every beast of the field: the wild asses quench their thirst.

Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for...

Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for...

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.