You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Dean Martin

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

In thinking of America, I sometimes find myself admiring her bright blue sky-her grand old...

In thinking of America, I sometimes find myself admiring her bright blue sky-her grand old...

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

His drink, the running stream; his cup, the bare Of his palm closed; his bed,...

His drink, the running stream; his cup, the bare Of his palm closed; his bed,...

And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it...

And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it...

Choose your company before you drink.

Choose your company before you drink.

And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters...

And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters...

These are the feasts of the LORD, which ye shall proclaim to be holy convocations,...

These are the feasts of the LORD, which ye shall proclaim to be holy convocations,...

And he burnt his burnt offering and his meat offering, and poured his drink offering,...

And he burnt his burnt offering and his meat offering, and poured his drink offering,...

So he brought down the people unto the water: and the LORD said unto Gideon,...

So he brought down the people unto the water: and the LORD said unto Gideon,...

If You wish to drink, then I shall get water for You; and wash Your...

If You wish to drink, then I shall get water for You; and wash Your...

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in;...

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in;...