You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Dean Martin

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,'...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and...

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

Children learn to smile from their parents.

Children learn to smile from their parents.

Time always seems long to the child who is waiting - for Christmas, for next...

Time always seems long to the child who is waiting - for Christmas, for next...

Bureaucracy, the rule of no one, has become the modern form of despotism

Bureaucracy, the rule of no one, has become the modern form of despotism

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the...

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.

The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends on large measure upon how our children grow...

The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends on large measure upon how our children grow...

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we...

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we...

He that hath a wife and children must not sit with his fingers in his...

He that hath a wife and children must not sit with his fingers in his...

Rock gives children, on a silver platter, with all the public authority of the entertainment...

Rock gives children, on a silver platter, with all the public authority of the entertainment...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.