I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Children Quotes, Family Quotes, Memory Quotes, Mothers Quotes

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way...

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way...

We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our...

We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our...

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for...

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for...

Rock gives children, on a silver platter, with all the public authority of the entertainment...

Rock gives children, on a silver platter, with all the public authority of the entertainment...

Like all of us in this storm between birth and death, I can wreak no...

Like all of us in this storm between birth and death, I can wreak no...

Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities

Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities