Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Quote by George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...
Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...
Your belief in God is merely an escape from your monotonous, stupid and cruel life
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a...
Union of religious sentiments begets a surprising confidence