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One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot...

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot...

Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.

Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.

Joel, I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head....

Joel, I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head....

It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes,...

It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes,...