By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.