Quotes by Henny Youngman

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

#Henny Youngman

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

#Henny Youngman

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

#Henny Youngman

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

#Henny Youngman

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

#Henny Youngman

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

#Henny Youngman

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

#Henny Youngman

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

#Henny Youngman

Take my wife... Please!

#Henny Youngman

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

#Henny Youngman

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

#Henny Youngman

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

#Henny Youngman