If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'

Quote by John Cleese

Topics: Funny Quotes, Putdowns Quotes

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make...

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make...

When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized...

When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized...

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes...

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes...

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting....

The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting....

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent...

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent...

I think that sometimes you do something that makes a small group of people laugh,...

I think that sometimes you do something that makes a small group of people laugh,...

I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such...

I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such...

Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts...

Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts...

But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that...

But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that...

I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much...

I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much...

God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified...

God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified...

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to...

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to...

I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and...

I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and...

For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very...

For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very...

A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.

A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.

I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at...

I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at...

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!