Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

The status quo sucks.

The status quo sucks.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.