There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.

Quote by Geoffrey Parfitt

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is...

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is therefore our task, as...

The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is therefore our task, as...

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone?...

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone?...

This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure...

This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure...

Hope is the dream of the waking man.

Hope is the dream of the waking man.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

He reminded me a little of Walt Disney's version of a mad scientist.

He reminded me a little of Walt Disney's version of a mad scientist.

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be...

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be...

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into...