Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Quote by John Barrymore

Topics: Causes Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings Quotes, Sex Quotes

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got...

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got...

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother,...

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother,...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was...

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was...

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...