Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

Quote by Will Ferrell

Topics: Funny Facebook Status Quotes

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it's...

Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it's...

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

This sentimental comedy by the Soviet playwright Aleksei Arbuzov is said to have had a...

This sentimental comedy by the Soviet playwright Aleksei Arbuzov is said to have had a...

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.