Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

Quote by Will Ferrell

Topics: Funny Facebook Status Quotes

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

Facebook...... Half Social Network..... Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

Facebook...... Half Social Network..... Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of...

Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of...

The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles...

The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go...

I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go...

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can...

If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can...

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didnt make...

Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didnt make...