My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes, Facebook Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

That awkward moment when the same person you deleted off Facebook tries to add you...

That awkward moment when the same person you deleted off Facebook tries to add you...

Easily the best thing about Facebook: The ability to read other people's fights.

Easily the best thing about Facebook: The ability to read other people's fights.

I think my fans will follow me into our combined old age. Real musicians and...

I think my fans will follow me into our combined old age. Real musicians and...

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.