A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe…

Quote by Will Ferrell

Topics: Will Ferrell Quotes

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at...

I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at...

If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass.

If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass.

DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: Pussy SON: I Don't Get It......

DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: Pussy SON: I Don't Get It......

Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop...

Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop...

I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks...

I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks...

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark!...

One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark!...

Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly...

Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...