Operator, give me the number for 911!

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Humor Quotes

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Mmm... Organized Crime

Mmm... Organized Crime

Trying is the first step to failure

Trying is the first step to failure

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous, but...

They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous, but...

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.