You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

Stupid risks make life worth living.

Stupid risks make life worth living.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy!

Once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy!

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Trying is the first step to failure

Trying is the first step to failure

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd...

My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...