You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless,...

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless,...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage.

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage.

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

Operator, give me the number for 911!

Operator, give me the number for 911!

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...