The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Quote by George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly...
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
Change is the only constant
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle....
I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'