My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

Quote by Bob Monkhouse

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be...

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be...

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as...

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as...

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I...

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters...

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters...

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Soul of the Age! The applause! delight! the wonder of our stage! My Shakespeare, rise;...

Soul of the Age! The applause! delight! the wonder of our stage! My Shakespeare, rise;...

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with....

Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with....

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for...

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for...

Men do not fight for flag or country, for the Marine Corps or glory or...

Men do not fight for flag or country, for the Marine Corps or glory or...

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the...

Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the...

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.