A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

Quote by Proverbs 27:15-16

Topics: Funny Quotes

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

To be fair to my ex girlfriend, I hope she'll always be memorable and unique...

To be fair to my ex girlfriend, I hope she'll always be memorable and unique...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if...

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if...

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put...

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put...

Imagine a school with children that can read or write, but with teachers who cannot,...

Imagine a school with children that can read or write, but with teachers who cannot,...

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken...

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken...

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a...

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a...

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

There is something that falls short of perfection in every book, without exception, something influenced...

There is something that falls short of perfection in every book, without exception, something influenced...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Happy Hump Day and Happy Leap Day everyone! Put them together, and you get an...

Happy Hump Day and Happy Leap Day everyone! Put them together, and you get an...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...