I refuse to endure months of expensive humiliation only to be told that at the age of four I was in love with my rocking horse.

Quote by Noel Coward

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this...

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this...

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that...

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that...

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are...

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are...

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out...

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out...

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a...

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a...

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives...

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives...

The higher the building the lower the morals.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

Work is much more fun than fun.

Work is much more fun than fun.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

The sun never sets on Government House.

The sun never sets on Government House.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

There's always something fishy about the French.

There's always something fishy about the French.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.