Christmas = Gifts . Halloween = Candy . Thanksgiving = Food . New Years = Drinks . Valentines = Sex . Birthday = All Of The Above.

Topics: Holiday Quotes, Humor Quotes

Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face...

Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face...

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop...

For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop...

All journeys eventually end in the same place, home.

All journeys eventually end in the same place, home.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you...

May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you...

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.

St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time, a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into...

St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time, a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into...

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

When the boss is a way, work becomes a holiday.

When the boss is a way, work becomes a holiday.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

May the leprechauns be near you, to spread luck along your way. And may all...

May the leprechauns be near you, to spread luck along your way. And may all...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be...

After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be...

Life is short, wear tropical shirts.

Life is short, wear tropical shirts.

Waking up from a 30 minute nap and not knowing if it's 2011 or 2013.

Waking up from a 30 minute nap and not knowing if it's 2011 or 2013.

In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite...

In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite...

Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is...

Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is...

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor...

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor...