Christmas = Gifts . Halloween = Candy . Thanksgiving = Food . New Years = Drinks . Valentines = Sex . Birthday = All Of The Above.

Topics: Holiday Quotes, Humor Quotes

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop...

For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop...

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face...

Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face...

When the boss is a way, work becomes a holiday.

When the boss is a way, work becomes a holiday.

After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be...

After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be...

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you...

May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you...

St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time, a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into...

St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time, a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into...

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

All journeys eventually end in the same place, home.

All journeys eventually end in the same place, home.

May the leprechauns be near you, to spread luck along your way. And may all...

May the leprechauns be near you, to spread luck along your way. And may all...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it...

It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it...

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being...

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being...

Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very...

Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very...

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor...

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor...

But it also became the experience, or was the experience, of the writers who were...

But it also became the experience, or was the experience, of the writers who were...