My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd elect me, I'd make them pay.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had...

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had...

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

Trying is the first step to failure

Trying is the first step to failure

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless,...

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless,...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.