I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen...

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen...

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every...

Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every...

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong!

I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong!

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment.

In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment.

A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!

A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!