Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

You can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? How many times do I have to...

My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd...

My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd...

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

I am not going to lie to you, Marge... ... ... Well, good bye.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why...

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why...

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap...

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Mmm... Organized Crime

Mmm... Organized Crime

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.