Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Homer Simpson Quotes

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous, but...

They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous, but...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about...

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen...

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen...

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why...

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why...

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong!

I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong!

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have...

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage.

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Operator! Give me the number for 911!