You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Quote by Tommy Cooper

Topics: Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks....

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks....

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

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Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

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So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs...

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside...

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...