Quotes by Tommy Cooper

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

#Tommy Cooper

So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

#Funny, #Jokes

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

#Funny, #Jokes

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old...

#Funny, #Jokes

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

#Funny, #Jokes

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks....

#Funny, #Jokes

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

#Funny, #Jokes

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

#Funny, #Jokes

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

#Funny, #Jokes

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

#Funny, #Jokes

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs...

#Books

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking...

#Money