Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

You can tell the strength of a nation by the women behind its men.

You can tell the strength of a nation by the women behind its men.

Women have a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.

Women have a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.

Most of a modest woman's life was spent, after all, in denying what, in one...

Most of a modest woman's life was spent, after all, in denying what, in one...