Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look...

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look...

The more government takes in taxes, the less incentive people have to work. What coal...

The more government takes in taxes, the less incentive people have to work. What coal...