It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other 50% last forever.

Topics: Divorce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault...

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault...

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't...

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a...

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a...

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names.

I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names.

When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed

When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed

A divorcee is a women who got married so she didn't have to work, but...

A divorcee is a women who got married so she didn't have to work, but...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight...

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight...

He left a bit too easily and with obvious relief. His feet were swift and...

He left a bit too easily and with obvious relief. His feet were swift and...

After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a...

After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a...

Never praise a sister to a sister in the hope of your compliments reaching the...

Never praise a sister to a sister in the hope of your compliments reaching the...

It seemed to me that the desire to get married - which, I regret to...

It seemed to me that the desire to get married - which, I regret to...