I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Quote by Noel Coward

Topics: Funny Quotes, People Quotes

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this...

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this...

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when...

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when...

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

There's always something fishy about the French.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It...

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may...

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may...

Learn the lines and don't bump into the furniture.

Learn the lines and don't bump into the furniture.

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out...

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out...

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives...

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives...

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Work is much more fun than fun.

Work is much more fun than fun.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are...

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are...

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.