The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
Quote by Mad Magazine
I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but...
The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.
If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...
In childhood be modest, in youth temperate, in adulthood just, and in old age prudent.
The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Age, like distance, lends a double charm.
When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be...
Housekeeping ain't no joke
Please, dear God, don't let me fuck up.
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some...
The primacy of the word, basis of the human psyche, that has in our age...
If you're not going to tell me your secret, don't tell me you have one.
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...
A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the...
Laughter is an instant vacation.
There is some ill a-brewing towards my rest, For I did dream of money-bags to-night.
Money is economic power