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To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what...

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what...

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys...

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Many people worry so much about managing their careers, but rarely spend half that much...

Many people worry so much about managing their careers, but rarely spend half that much...