Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Internet Quotes, Television Quotes

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of...

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of...

The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery

The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery

Anything a dog touches must be washed seven times, the final time in dust

Anything a dog touches must be washed seven times, the final time in dust

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a...

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a...

Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. Its like...

Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. Its like...