Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Internet Quotes, Television Quotes

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

It doesn't even matter what it is. It's automatically cool if it Glows in the...

It doesn't even matter what it is. It's automatically cool if it Glows in the...

My Definition of a clean room; a clear path from the door to my bed.

My Definition of a clean room; a clear path from the door to my bed.

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had...

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had...