It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to…

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Popularity is not an indication of quality.

Popularity is not an indication of quality.

Everything popular is wrong.

Everything popular is wrong.