The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong...

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of...

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through...

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through...