A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Quote by Rhonda Hansome

Topics: Funny Quotes, Mom Quotes

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero...

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero...

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

I knew when my career was over. In 1965, my baseball card came out with...

I knew when my career was over. In 1965, my baseball card came out with...

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I...

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...

Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for...

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for...

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise...

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise...