I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle.

Quote by Dan Whitney

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...

One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesnt live like...

One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesnt live like...

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower. Drives my green age that...

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower. Drives my green age that...

In this age of electronic money, investors are no longer seduced by a financial 'dance...

In this age of electronic money, investors are no longer seduced by a financial 'dance...

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that...

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that...

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety, other women cloy.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety, other women cloy.

Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things.

Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things.

The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.

The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked...

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked...

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss...

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss...

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Even the gods love jokes

Even the gods love jokes