I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Funny Quotes, Mom Quotes

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband...

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor...

Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor...