A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Quote by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...
Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...
Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what...
Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...
Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.