I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

I drink to forget I drink.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.