Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

Quote by Emo Philips

Topics: Funny Quotes

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things...

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

Murder is terribly exhausting.

Murder is terribly exhausting.

Maybe this is why so many serial killers work in pairs. It's nice not to...

Maybe this is why so many serial killers work in pairs. It's nice not to...

Murder is always a mistake - one should never do anything one cannot talk about...

Murder is always a mistake - one should never do anything one cannot talk about...

Remorse for what? You people have done everything in the world to me. Doesn't that...

Remorse for what? You people have done everything in the world to me. Doesn't that...

People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did...

People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did...

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's...

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's...

Murder will out, this my conclusion

Murder will out, this my conclusion

Murderers will try to recall the sequence of events, they will remember exactly what they...

Murderers will try to recall the sequence of events, they will remember exactly what they...

Murderers, in general, are people who are consistent, people who are obsessed with one idea...

Murderers, in general, are people who are consistent, people who are obsessed with one idea...

Murder is commoner among cooks than among members of any other profession

Murder is commoner among cooks than among members of any other profession

One must never set up a murder. They must happen unexpectedlly, as in life.

One must never set up a murder. They must happen unexpectedlly, as in life.

Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to...

Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to...

If we spend our time with regrets over yesterday, and worries over what might happen...

If we spend our time with regrets over yesterday, and worries over what might happen...