Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

The devil is only a convenient myth invented by the real malefactors of our world

The devil is only a convenient myth invented by the real malefactors of our world

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...