Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the...

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the...

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome...

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome...