Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we...

All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we...

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.