Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Men have hitherto treated women like birds which have strayed down to them from the...

Men have hitherto treated women like birds which have strayed down to them from the...

I don't know why women want any of the things men have when one the...

I don't know why women want any of the things men have when one the...

I've always liked men better than women.

I've always liked men better than women.