Never fight an inanimate object.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

I don't think my parents would be shocked about anything I did, because they're so...

I don't think my parents would be shocked about anything I did, because they're so...

I had supposed until that time that it was quite common for parents to love...

I had supposed until that time that it was quite common for parents to love...