Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes, School Quotes

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you...

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you...

Every book has an intrinsic impossibility, which its writer discovers as soon as his first...

Every book has an intrinsic impossibility, which its writer discovers as soon as his first...

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone...

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old...

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old...

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then...

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then...

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

There are only two seasons - winter and baseball.

There are only two seasons - winter and baseball.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend.

For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend.

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

That LIKE A BOSS moment when you turn to the exact page in a book...

That LIKE A BOSS moment when you turn to the exact page in a book...