Quotes by Emo Philips

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

#Forgivenes, #Funny

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

#Luck

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

#Murder, #Time

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved...

#Funny

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things...

#Schools

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

#Funny, #Religious

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

#Funny, #Positive

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

#Funny, #Happy