You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Quote by Emo Philips

Topics: Schools Quotes

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved...

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone's neurosis.

The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone's neurosis.

The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they...

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they...

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Happy Leap Day! I have an 84-year-old friend who is celebrating his 21st birthday today....

Happy Leap Day! I have an 84-year-old friend who is celebrating his 21st birthday today....

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than...

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.