Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

Quote by Emo Philips

Topics: Funny Quotes

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things...

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to...

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at...

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle....

Little is the luck I've had, And oh, 'tis comfort small - To think that...

Little is the luck I've had, And oh, 'tis comfort small - To think that...

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

May good luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always...

May good luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always...

Good luck beats early rising

Good luck beats early rising

Yes, there's a luck in most things; and in none more than being born at...

Yes, there's a luck in most things; and in none more than being born at...

Being generous, just helping one's relatives and being blameless in one's actions; this is the...

Being generous, just helping one's relatives and being blameless in one's actions; this is the...

We often call a certainty a hope, to bring it luck

We often call a certainty a hope, to bring it luck

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

For each petal on the shamrock this brings a wish your way. Good health, good...

For each petal on the shamrock this brings a wish your way. Good health, good...

Lady Luck's maiden name was Miss Fortune

Lady Luck's maiden name was Miss Fortune

Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; This is...

Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; This is...

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,...

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,...

Now for good luck, cast an old shoe after me

Now for good luck, cast an old shoe after me