The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.