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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your...

I can always make you smile

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I can always make you smile

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays...

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An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just...

Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s mistakes can...

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Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s mistakes can...

Violent Criminals. You take the entire state of Kansas , give them a couple of...

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Violent Criminals. You take the entire state of Kansas , give them a couple of...

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

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I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain,...

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For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain,...

The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we...

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The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we...