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What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

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What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

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Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

I love walking in the rain cause no one can see me crying

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I love walking in the rain cause no one can see me crying

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

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Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

When nothing goes right.... go left.

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When nothing goes right.... go left.

Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

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Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

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What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

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You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

Find what you love and let it kill you.

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Find what you love and let it kill you.

Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out...

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Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out...

Oh I offended you with my opinion?! You should hear the ones I keep to...

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Oh I offended you with my opinion?! You should hear the ones I keep to...

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

Sometimes our only option in a challenging situation is to send someone unconditional love

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Sometimes our only option in a challenging situation is to send someone unconditional love

I'm the girl who is never good enough.Not for her friends, her family, boys, anyone....

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I'm the girl who is never good enough.Not for her friends, her family, boys, anyone....